Inaugural post: How we found out.

Welcome to my pregnancy weblog, I guess. I intend to keep it longer than that, but until I'm no longer pregnant it is what it is!

So ... I'm pregnant. Twelve weeks. Anyone who knows me well knows it's not a state I was sure I'd ever be in, but I am! Holy crap. We found out when I was about eight weeks along (although my first ultrasound which is coming up in a couple of days will verify the timing for sure.) We were spending the weekend in Ottawa and I'd been feeling all kinds of terrible; headachey, constantly exhausted and then suddenly fiercely nauseated on top of it all. I'd been planning to go visit La that afternoon but after having slept most of the day before, all night and then all morning I was convinced I was still dying.

Andrew offered to go buy me some medicines like Advil and Gravol. We kind of looked at each other skeptically and wondered if we should get a pregnancy test too, and I figured with the first two items it might be a good idea, just in case, just to be safe and basically tick THAT off the list as a possible cause of my malaise. I quite honestly was not expecting a positive result.

So, Andrew brought me those things and then he and Colin and Jen went out to New Mee Fung for a delicious dinner. You know I must have been feeling like CRAP to not go to my favourite Ottawa restaurant if offered a chance. Off they went and I got up to pee on the stick before popping an Advil and Gravol.

I've taken pregnancy tests lots of times before (but mostly out of paranoia rather than efforts to conceive.) I've peed on those sticks and believed the instructions when they said not to read the results before a certain amount of time (usually two minutes) has passed as a positive result might not show up immediately. And then to possibly wait as long as ten minutes just in case it takes a while to register a weak positive. So I kind of half-assedly watched the pee creep along the result windows just to make sure I'd peed on it enough and nearly fell on the floor at the IMMEDIATE, DARK, NO-KIDDING-AROUND plus sign that signaled a positive result. Like, as soon as my pee touched that result window the vertical line began screaming at the top of its lungs.

Mah gah. I was shocked. I was stunned. I was pregnant.

When Andrew came back from New Mee Fung and came upstairs and into the bedroom I hadn't really thought of what to say. I certainly hadn't come up with any cutesy way to let him know, hadn't run out to buy a card or pair of baby booties or anything like that. I just grabbed him and said, "We're having a baby."

He looked back at me and, knowing me and my fears and all the reasons behind my ambivalence toward being a parent, said the best thing he could have possibly said in that moment: "It's going to be OK."