Oh, man. Jen and Colin's wedding was just perfection. I'm sure if you asked them they could tell you which things went wrong, but from the perspective of someone who wasn't in charge of arranging the details and worrying about what happened when it went off smoothly, enjoyably and memorably! Hooray for Colin and Jen!
For reals, though, I was exhausted just being a bystander who helped with very small stuff that didn't require any heavy lifting (like bagging candy and putting tablecloths on tables.) I can't imagine how tired I'd have been if I was in charge!
We came back home to Toronto yesterday, bringing Jen. F and Paula back with us since we had room in the van. Now, the wedding had a daisy theme and Jen and Colin had tons of potted daisies left over that they weren't planning to keep so I asked if I could take a pot to my mom. They said that was fine, so we made a quick stop at my mom's house in Kingston on the way back to Toronto from Ottawa.
When we got there they were all in the middle of dinner but we came inside so that we could all have a bathroom break and I could hug my sister and mom and niece and nephew. I handed off the daisies and we hung out in the kitchen a bit while each of us had our time in the washroom. Mang, of course, came into the kitchen and presented herself to everyone and looked regal and lovely and I got some kitty loving in with her and Leeloo. Keller stayed hidden in one of her hiding spots and didn't come out to visit at all, unsurprisingly.
The best part, though, came while I was absent, having excused myself to the washroom. July, who is eight, apparently thought that Jen and Paula were VERY pretty and proposed the idea of having a Pretty Lady Party in Toronto sometime that they could come to as well as some of their pretty friends. Hee hee hee! That kid cracks me up! Jen and Paula are very pretty so she was totally justified in wanting to celebrate that, of course. I hope I'm invited, too.
After a too-brief interlude with my adorable family we headed back out on the road, stopping to get a bite to eat and then driving without stopping until we hit our city. Getting back to our apartment and hugging my cats was the best thing ever until I climbed into my bed and realized that being in my bed and hugging my cats was EVEN BETTER. Then Andrew got into bed and I realized that being in bed with my cats and my Andrew was EVEN BETTER THAN THAT. And then I fell asleep.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
I do wish I had a pillbox like that.
So I had my first official real nightmare about this baby. I crashed hard in bed last night after the wedding festivities and had a few weird dreams, but this one freaked me out.
Yes, I know other people's dreams are boring.
So, in my dream I totally had the baby and was all, "Baby-having is sooooo easy and painless. I don't really think that hurt at all!" And the baby was so tiny that she fit in a pillbox so that's where I carried her. No wonder it didn't hurt.
I set the pillbox carrier down at some point and TOTALLY misplaced it. It was a pink pillbox, very cute, and easy to spot. When I realized I had no idea where I'd set it down (with my daughter inside) I started to freak out. I knew Andrew would be really pissed off, plus I was extremely embarrassed that I'd misplaced my own child like that.
I searched and searched and searched, but it got pretty obvious that I just wasn't going to find her again. My baby was gone for good.
Waking up was a relief because I know exactly where the baby is for now and s/he'd better stay there for a few more months.
Yes, I know other people's dreams are boring.
So, in my dream I totally had the baby and was all, "Baby-having is sooooo easy and painless. I don't really think that hurt at all!" And the baby was so tiny that she fit in a pillbox so that's where I carried her. No wonder it didn't hurt.
I set the pillbox carrier down at some point and TOTALLY misplaced it. It was a pink pillbox, very cute, and easy to spot. When I realized I had no idea where I'd set it down (with my daughter inside) I started to freak out. I knew Andrew would be really pissed off, plus I was extremely embarrassed that I'd misplaced my own child like that.
I searched and searched and searched, but it got pretty obvious that I just wasn't going to find her again. My baby was gone for good.
Waking up was a relief because I know exactly where the baby is for now and s/he'd better stay there for a few more months.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Ottawa update.
Hellooooo! We've been in Ottawa since Thursday night. I STILL haven't seen Alannah and the kids and that makes me sad, but we've settled on tomorrow night being the night, after all the wedding festivities have ended.
We HAVE seen Colin and Jen and all the other wedding participants. Friday night was the wedding rehearsal and dinner, and for the rehearsal I stood in for one of the bridesmaids who couldn't be there. I was Fake Kim, and it was fun. I was a bit worried that it would mess with my back to stand around a lot, but it ended up doing a number on my sciatica leg instead, which is not something I can blame on baby Jeanes at all. It's very handy to be able to blame ailments on pregnancy, you know.
Baby Jeanes was super active all the way from Toronto to Ottawa. I don't know if it was my posture or bumps in the road or what, but that baby was busy. It was funny, since I actually think s/he's pretty mellow compared to stories I've heard of other babies who were constantly active while hanging out inside their moms. But yeah; riding in a vehicle seems to provoke lots of movement. If I ever get worried that s/he's not moving I'll try to get a ride somewhere and see what happens.
I did attempt to find maternity clothes today but was not so successful. Andrew and I went to the Bayshore mall because they were having a sale on shirts at The Bay and he needed to buy a shirt to go with his tie for the wedding. I figured I'd check their maternity section first and go from there if I couldn't find anything, but it turned out that they don't have a maternity section at all at that location. So I checked out Thyme Maternity in the mall but all their stuff was very casual. Mom had told me of some maternity stores in town but by the time we got out of the mall it was too late to do any more shopping.
I guess I'll make do with the outfit I bought last week which is really not bad at all. Still, my impression of maternity clothes so far has been that they are not very much to my tastes. They DO make one look pregnant, though, which I proved by wearing a maternity shirt for the first time the other day and being told multiple times that I suddenly look quite pregnant. The a-line cut really accentuates that baby belly, I guess!
Not much else to tell. I do have a funny story about our shopping experience at The Bay, but I'll make a separate post about it since I don't have the energy to write much more tonight. I's tired and need my beauty sleep since we have to be somewhere at 7:30 tomorrow morning!
We HAVE seen Colin and Jen and all the other wedding participants. Friday night was the wedding rehearsal and dinner, and for the rehearsal I stood in for one of the bridesmaids who couldn't be there. I was Fake Kim, and it was fun. I was a bit worried that it would mess with my back to stand around a lot, but it ended up doing a number on my sciatica leg instead, which is not something I can blame on baby Jeanes at all. It's very handy to be able to blame ailments on pregnancy, you know.
Baby Jeanes was super active all the way from Toronto to Ottawa. I don't know if it was my posture or bumps in the road or what, but that baby was busy. It was funny, since I actually think s/he's pretty mellow compared to stories I've heard of other babies who were constantly active while hanging out inside their moms. But yeah; riding in a vehicle seems to provoke lots of movement. If I ever get worried that s/he's not moving I'll try to get a ride somewhere and see what happens.
I did attempt to find maternity clothes today but was not so successful. Andrew and I went to the Bayshore mall because they were having a sale on shirts at The Bay and he needed to buy a shirt to go with his tie for the wedding. I figured I'd check their maternity section first and go from there if I couldn't find anything, but it turned out that they don't have a maternity section at all at that location. So I checked out Thyme Maternity in the mall but all their stuff was very casual. Mom had told me of some maternity stores in town but by the time we got out of the mall it was too late to do any more shopping.
I guess I'll make do with the outfit I bought last week which is really not bad at all. Still, my impression of maternity clothes so far has been that they are not very much to my tastes. They DO make one look pregnant, though, which I proved by wearing a maternity shirt for the first time the other day and being told multiple times that I suddenly look quite pregnant. The a-line cut really accentuates that baby belly, I guess!
Not much else to tell. I do have a funny story about our shopping experience at The Bay, but I'll make a separate post about it since I don't have the energy to write much more tonight. I's tired and need my beauty sleep since we have to be somewhere at 7:30 tomorrow morning!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
People do make me laugh.
So yesterday I went first to an OBGYN appointment, then went shopping to see if I could find a pretty maternity dress to wear to Jen and Colin's wedding this coming weekend.
The appointment was brief. My lovely doctor came flying into the room, ordered me to lie down, whipped out a tape measure, measured my belly, whipped out a heartbeat thingamajig, listened to the heartbeat, asked if I had any questions then told me to go to the outpatient lab and pee in a cup since my pee stick had some protein in it. The entire thing, including me waiting in the waiting room, took about 15 minutes total, a new record for obstetrical efficiency in my experience! Everyone at the office seemed a bit frazzled, actually. Busy day in babymaking, I guess. Except for the old man who was seated next to me in the waiting room and was eventually tipped off that he wasn't where he was supposed to be. He looked around and said, "Yes, there are an awful lot of pregnant women here."
Shopping for the maternity dress was as difficult as I'd expected, but only because there weren't any dresses. Like, none. I went to the Dufferin Mall because there's a Pennington's there and I was hoping to find an a-line dress that wouldn't necessarily have to be a maternity dress. There were no dresses at all. I'm not even kidding. Skirts and blouses, yes, but no dresses. I then went to Rietmans which most always has an awesome and plentiful plus-size section with great selection, but this time they also had no dresses. The clerk immediately got my drift as soon as I turned to face her and mentioned a-line dresses and had some suggestions about perhaps such-and-such a store would have something, but seemed dubious. She said this is a hard time of year to buy a dress anyhow, it being that wasteland between new seasonal lines when everything has been picked over.
I ended up getting a dressy pair of maternity pants and a fancy shirt which looked good to me when I tried them on in the store. Here's hoping I wasn't just desperately telling myself so in order to end the shopping process. I'll try them on again here at home and see. I still have a few days of grace and can shop in Ottawa, too!
My day was spiced right up by the craziness of my fellow shoppers and travelers, though. The first incident was in Pennington's. I entered the store at the same time as a woman using a walker and a much younger woman accompanying her. The elderly woman looked old enough to be the younger woman's grandma but referred to her as her daughter throughout. The daughter was shopping for a jacket and the two attracted the attention of one of the clerks as they discussed. The older woman had a VERY loud voice, and to my horror shouted to the clerk as she approached them, "We're looking for a jacket for a really FAT person, here. Really, really FAT."
I was mortified and wanted to hide behind a rack of clothes. Astonishingly (to me) the daughter didn't seem fazed by this at all, just calmly talked about the coats they were looking at with the clerk like this was absolutely normal behaviour. Yes, the daughter was obese, but HELLO OLD LADY, you are in Pennington's. Your daughter knows where she is, the clerks know where they work, your specificity is overkill in this situation.
I was left to wonder if the daughter just has to deal with this so much that not acknowledging it is her best defense. Whatever their personal relationship, I left and went off to shop elsewhere for my non-existent dress happy in the knowledge that my own mom is not a crazy, loud-talking, insensitive crone.
The second incident was much more palatable to me. I was on the Bathurst bus and an older couple sat down behind me. They looked to be in their sixties or so and quite cheerful and pleasant. The husband suddenly broke out into song. That didn't seem so weird to me because I live with Andrew, a man who has a song to fit every occasion and who will always sing that song.
I immediately realized, however, that I was in some kind of time warp and it was actually me and Andrew from the distant future sitting behind me because as the man sang his song his wife began to say, "Shhh. Stop singing. Stop it. Hush. Shush. Stop. Be quiet. Stop singing. Shhhhh."
He carried on singing for a bit, she very quietly carried on shushing him and eventually he stopped and they started talking about something else very happily and lovingly. So, I'm assuming that even when we're in our sixties, Andrew will still be breaking out into song and I'll still be shushing him. Some things will probably not change.
The appointment was brief. My lovely doctor came flying into the room, ordered me to lie down, whipped out a tape measure, measured my belly, whipped out a heartbeat thingamajig, listened to the heartbeat, asked if I had any questions then told me to go to the outpatient lab and pee in a cup since my pee stick had some protein in it. The entire thing, including me waiting in the waiting room, took about 15 minutes total, a new record for obstetrical efficiency in my experience! Everyone at the office seemed a bit frazzled, actually. Busy day in babymaking, I guess. Except for the old man who was seated next to me in the waiting room and was eventually tipped off that he wasn't where he was supposed to be. He looked around and said, "Yes, there are an awful lot of pregnant women here."
Shopping for the maternity dress was as difficult as I'd expected, but only because there weren't any dresses. Like, none. I went to the Dufferin Mall because there's a Pennington's there and I was hoping to find an a-line dress that wouldn't necessarily have to be a maternity dress. There were no dresses at all. I'm not even kidding. Skirts and blouses, yes, but no dresses. I then went to Rietmans which most always has an awesome and plentiful plus-size section with great selection, but this time they also had no dresses. The clerk immediately got my drift as soon as I turned to face her and mentioned a-line dresses and had some suggestions about perhaps such-and-such a store would have something, but seemed dubious. She said this is a hard time of year to buy a dress anyhow, it being that wasteland between new seasonal lines when everything has been picked over.
I ended up getting a dressy pair of maternity pants and a fancy shirt which looked good to me when I tried them on in the store. Here's hoping I wasn't just desperately telling myself so in order to end the shopping process. I'll try them on again here at home and see. I still have a few days of grace and can shop in Ottawa, too!
My day was spiced right up by the craziness of my fellow shoppers and travelers, though. The first incident was in Pennington's. I entered the store at the same time as a woman using a walker and a much younger woman accompanying her. The elderly woman looked old enough to be the younger woman's grandma but referred to her as her daughter throughout. The daughter was shopping for a jacket and the two attracted the attention of one of the clerks as they discussed. The older woman had a VERY loud voice, and to my horror shouted to the clerk as she approached them, "We're looking for a jacket for a really FAT person, here. Really, really FAT."
I was mortified and wanted to hide behind a rack of clothes. Astonishingly (to me) the daughter didn't seem fazed by this at all, just calmly talked about the coats they were looking at with the clerk like this was absolutely normal behaviour. Yes, the daughter was obese, but HELLO OLD LADY, you are in Pennington's. Your daughter knows where she is, the clerks know where they work, your specificity is overkill in this situation.
I was left to wonder if the daughter just has to deal with this so much that not acknowledging it is her best defense. Whatever their personal relationship, I left and went off to shop elsewhere for my non-existent dress happy in the knowledge that my own mom is not a crazy, loud-talking, insensitive crone.
The second incident was much more palatable to me. I was on the Bathurst bus and an older couple sat down behind me. They looked to be in their sixties or so and quite cheerful and pleasant. The husband suddenly broke out into song. That didn't seem so weird to me because I live with Andrew, a man who has a song to fit every occasion and who will always sing that song.
I immediately realized, however, that I was in some kind of time warp and it was actually me and Andrew from the distant future sitting behind me because as the man sang his song his wife began to say, "Shhh. Stop singing. Stop it. Hush. Shush. Stop. Be quiet. Stop singing. Shhhhh."
He carried on singing for a bit, she very quietly carried on shushing him and eventually he stopped and they started talking about something else very happily and lovingly. So, I'm assuming that even when we're in our sixties, Andrew will still be breaking out into song and I'll still be shushing him. Some things will probably not change.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Kick the kitty!
In a development of extreme suckage I think the morning sickness is flirting with me a little bit, still. I wasn't too sure about it since the heartburn has been making me feel gaggy, but in the last day the heartburn has calmed down somewhat and I've noticed that the nausea is still there. Hrm. Go away, nausea. You have no place here in my beloved second trimester!
I still have some Diclectin left and this is nowhere near the feeling I had in the first trimester so I'm not panicking. Just giving it a very stern look.
Yeah, the heartburn got pretty epic over the last five or so days and I was sad about that. Andrew reminded me that raw or blanched almonds are supposed to be helpful for that so he came home from the store with two big packages of them for me. I think they might actually be helping! Since I started eating them I've definitely taken fewer Tums and had a bit more success with sleeping. The heartburn kept waking me up after at most three hours of sleep and I'd have to do something to try to deal with it instead of being able to drop back off so my sleep was all jacked up. So there's been a bit of an improvement there, at least!
Shelley is really starting to notice the baby kicks now when he's purring on me on the sofa. He'll look up at me a little quizzically when there's a particularly strong thump. I'm waiting for the day that they actually notice my belly moving with their eyes rather than just feeling it. I'm waiting in fear, as they both like to attack targets that are moving mysteriously underneath something. So I could be a mass of flesh wounds by the time I actually go to give birth!
I still have some Diclectin left and this is nowhere near the feeling I had in the first trimester so I'm not panicking. Just giving it a very stern look.
Yeah, the heartburn got pretty epic over the last five or so days and I was sad about that. Andrew reminded me that raw or blanched almonds are supposed to be helpful for that so he came home from the store with two big packages of them for me. I think they might actually be helping! Since I started eating them I've definitely taken fewer Tums and had a bit more success with sleeping. The heartburn kept waking me up after at most three hours of sleep and I'd have to do something to try to deal with it instead of being able to drop back off so my sleep was all jacked up. So there's been a bit of an improvement there, at least!
Shelley is really starting to notice the baby kicks now when he's purring on me on the sofa. He'll look up at me a little quizzically when there's a particularly strong thump. I'm waiting for the day that they actually notice my belly moving with their eyes rather than just feeling it. I'm waiting in fear, as they both like to attack targets that are moving mysteriously underneath something. So I could be a mass of flesh wounds by the time I actually go to give birth!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
It puts the baby on its skin.
I was doing some reading about 'wearing' babies last night, using slings and various styles of sling-type carriers. I'm extremely invested in finding a good sling that I can stick the kid in so I can have my hands free when necessary to do random things, so I really want to do my research.
The danger of online research, you realize, is that you end up getting sidetracked by other interesting things as you read. As a result I started reading about how skin-to-skin contact is something that is extremely comforting and healthy for babies, especially when they're brand-new. I've known this for a while, but it was something I wanted to mention to Andrew, seeing as how he's the kind of of person who can't abide wearing pants for longer than five minutes after he gets home from anywhere and will disrobe at the slightest provocation. I figured he'd be thrilled at the opportunity to foster nudist tendencies in our child.
I also pointed out that baby skin is one of the most magical things on earth, it being so unreasonably soft and perfect and fresh, so skin-to-skin snuggling with a baby is like cuddling unicorns or something equally fantastical. Andrew's response?
"Oh, man. I'm going to rub that baby all over my body!"
How DO you respond to something like that? I coped through laughter, but a less understanding person would be all surreptitiously programming CAS into their cellphone.
Don't worry, there will be no using our baby as a reverse loofah, I swear. Besides, I think baby Jeanes would get a lot less out of Andrew's leg hair than Andrew would out of our baby's perfect flesh.
The danger of online research, you realize, is that you end up getting sidetracked by other interesting things as you read. As a result I started reading about how skin-to-skin contact is something that is extremely comforting and healthy for babies, especially when they're brand-new. I've known this for a while, but it was something I wanted to mention to Andrew, seeing as how he's the kind of of person who can't abide wearing pants for longer than five minutes after he gets home from anywhere and will disrobe at the slightest provocation. I figured he'd be thrilled at the opportunity to foster nudist tendencies in our child.
I also pointed out that baby skin is one of the most magical things on earth, it being so unreasonably soft and perfect and fresh, so skin-to-skin snuggling with a baby is like cuddling unicorns or something equally fantastical. Andrew's response?
"Oh, man. I'm going to rub that baby all over my body!"
How DO you respond to something like that? I coped through laughter, but a less understanding person would be all surreptitiously programming CAS into their cellphone.
Don't worry, there will be no using our baby as a reverse loofah, I swear. Besides, I think baby Jeanes would get a lot less out of Andrew's leg hair than Andrew would out of our baby's perfect flesh.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I barfed a lot and it sucked. Let me have that, OK?
OK, so a real positive about this pregnancy has been fewer migraines! I've always been prone to them but for some reason instead of even worse migraines I've just been getting more of the smaller, more bearable headaches instead. I mention this because I had an actual migraine today and was reminded of how long it's been since I had to deal with one. Pretty sweet!
Uh ... perhaps I was a bit more of a baby about it as a result, but Andrew has skipped town until tomorrow night so didn't have to hang out with me for more than a couple of hours worth of pathetic behaviour.
Now, I expected that with this pregnancy I'd be throwing myself headlong into some online communities of pregnant women and getting right involved with all that, but I've quickly discovered that I don't really have the urge to. I have a hit-or-miss relationship with online communities in general, preferring mostly to keep them strictly online and not have them encroach too much into my oxygen life. There are a small number of people I've met online that I'd made an exception for, but they are few. So, after lurking slightly and posting just a couple of times in a couple of pregnancy/parenting forums and whatnot I can say that I now have no real desire to do this.
Part of it is that on the one hand I'm just kind of a bitch, I think, and get easily frustrated when certain things start to look more like contests than sharing experiences. I'm not going in trying to one-up anyone or be told to just be thankful I had it as easy as I did. Y'know, the morning sickness sucked my will to live and it makes me seriously reluctant to do this ever again. Don't tell me I was lucky, k? I was not lucky. No one who experiences extreme unpleasantness during their pregnancy is.
On the other hand I feel like I have such a strong existing support network through my family and tons of friends who have babies and have experienced everything I'm going through that I don't really need to seek strangers online to get advice from. It's one of the reasons that not getting into a midwife group didn't break my heart too much, because I have the experienced feminine moral support thing built right in. Mom, sisters, cousins, aunts, friends, all kinds of people a phone call or Facebook message away! I'm pretty blessed and I'm reminded of it constantly.
I'm also pretty blessed to have Andrew right there with me being as supportive and involved and interested as he is. Love you, sweetie!
Uh ... perhaps I was a bit more of a baby about it as a result, but Andrew has skipped town until tomorrow night so didn't have to hang out with me for more than a couple of hours worth of pathetic behaviour.
Now, I expected that with this pregnancy I'd be throwing myself headlong into some online communities of pregnant women and getting right involved with all that, but I've quickly discovered that I don't really have the urge to. I have a hit-or-miss relationship with online communities in general, preferring mostly to keep them strictly online and not have them encroach too much into my oxygen life. There are a small number of people I've met online that I'd made an exception for, but they are few. So, after lurking slightly and posting just a couple of times in a couple of pregnancy/parenting forums and whatnot I can say that I now have no real desire to do this.
Part of it is that on the one hand I'm just kind of a bitch, I think, and get easily frustrated when certain things start to look more like contests than sharing experiences. I'm not going in trying to one-up anyone or be told to just be thankful I had it as easy as I did. Y'know, the morning sickness sucked my will to live and it makes me seriously reluctant to do this ever again. Don't tell me I was lucky, k? I was not lucky. No one who experiences extreme unpleasantness during their pregnancy is.
On the other hand I feel like I have such a strong existing support network through my family and tons of friends who have babies and have experienced everything I'm going through that I don't really need to seek strangers online to get advice from. It's one of the reasons that not getting into a midwife group didn't break my heart too much, because I have the experienced feminine moral support thing built right in. Mom, sisters, cousins, aunts, friends, all kinds of people a phone call or Facebook message away! I'm pretty blessed and I'm reminded of it constantly.
I'm also pretty blessed to have Andrew right there with me being as supportive and involved and interested as he is. Love you, sweetie!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Those kicks were fast as lightning!
My belly moves noticeably from the outside now when Baby Jeanes is practicing Kung Fu fighting! I saw it for the first time this morning. I was wearing just a thin stretchy tank top instead of a t-shirt and had my laptop sitting on my legs. Baby Jeanes had been pretty active for a while, but I suddenly noticed my belly actually twitch when s/he let loose with a really good kick. So I sat and watched for a while and saw about four or five good ones before s/he got tired and settled down.
How. Weird.
I mean, I've seen the bellies of other pregnant women doing the creepy alien thing when they're really far along and you can see the skin moving around and shifting with the movement of the baby, but it's incredibly weird to see it happening to yourself for the first time. I'm not at the creepy inner alien phase yet, just the periodic outer twitch phase, but man ... WEIRD.
The whole thing is weird! Human procreation is weird! Maysie was telling us about Noah's reaction to how babies are made (hey, he asked) and y'know, dude ain't wrong when he seems a bit stunned by the process. Why can't we all be Cylons? Although I guess even they are pretty gross, too.
I think mostly I'm just so constantly surprised by my body actually having the capability to produce human life. There are so many things it's NOT good at doing that this seems overly ambitious, you know?
How. Weird.
I mean, I've seen the bellies of other pregnant women doing the creepy alien thing when they're really far along and you can see the skin moving around and shifting with the movement of the baby, but it's incredibly weird to see it happening to yourself for the first time. I'm not at the creepy inner alien phase yet, just the periodic outer twitch phase, but man ... WEIRD.
The whole thing is weird! Human procreation is weird! Maysie was telling us about Noah's reaction to how babies are made (hey, he asked) and y'know, dude ain't wrong when he seems a bit stunned by the process. Why can't we all be Cylons? Although I guess even they are pretty gross, too.
I think mostly I'm just so constantly surprised by my body actually having the capability to produce human life. There are so many things it's NOT good at doing that this seems overly ambitious, you know?
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Started out good, but ended with rant.
It occurs to me quite a lot that even though I've moaned and complained variously about the discomforts of this process, I'm extremely thankful that that's all they've been: discomforts. I've had no pregnancy-related complications that threaten me or baby Jeanes and that's something to be grateful for!
Pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes are two things I worried about but so far, so good. The diabetes one wouldn't surprise me all that much but my bloodwork has been fine and I'm feeling pretty physically OK (for sickly ol' me.) I definitely need to be getting more exercise. That one is self-inflicted and not the fault of being pregnant, of course.
Last night Andrew and I went out for dinner and after we got home I was reminded of how much I need to start doing some more regular forms of exercise. Man, did my back ever hurt! Andrew is the one who nearly killed his entire self on some stairs while we were out, and I'm the one with the pain afterward. Unfair, I say. I had a bit of a preview at the One Of A Kind Show of the backaches to come, and I guess I'll just have to get Andrew to give me some nice massages or something (especially since La gave me that incredibly awesome Lush massage bar at Christmas.) But yeah; I do think that going for some regular walks will help, even if it makes it hurt a bit more at first.
Time is really flying now. I'm five months along and kind of in disbelief about that. It STILL doesn't seem entirely real that we're going to have a baby, you know. Yes, I feel like there's a human being growing inside of me but that isn't any kind of prep for what it's going to be like to LIVE with a TOTALLY DEPENDENT BABY. All my selfish ways and decisions are going to be secondary to making sure our kid survives each day. As a 34 year old with ingrained habits I think it's going to definitely be a rude kind of awakening! There are a few camps of parent out there. The kind that we have the most contact with, fortunately, are the kind who want to share useful advice and empathy, but there's another kind. The kind that like to maliciously shake their heads and say smugly, "Oh, you have no idea what you're in for. You'll see."
Yeah ... thanks. Does it surprise anyone that the first kid is a challenge? How can it not be? There was a time when I did not want to have children. I knew I could change my mind in the future when I hit my thirties, or encounter a surprise pregnancy and have to deal with that, but I really resented the idea that people saw being childfree as a negative of my personality. When I saw the kind of behaviour, though, where the parents seemed to relish the idea of someone sharing in what seemed to be their misery I felt a bit better about my decision. There are all kinds, of course, and even in the spectrum of the childfree there are wildly varying approaches and feelings about kids in general but I hope I never turn into the kind of parent who treats the role as a negative experience overall. Yes, there will be challenges and times when I question my sanity and the decision to have a child but I fully expect that overall I will like parenting and LOVE our spawn.
Seriously. My cats piss me off regularly (every day!) and I love and forgive them, so how much more am I going to love and care about a human being that's made up of me and Andrew?
Pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes are two things I worried about but so far, so good. The diabetes one wouldn't surprise me all that much but my bloodwork has been fine and I'm feeling pretty physically OK (for sickly ol' me.) I definitely need to be getting more exercise. That one is self-inflicted and not the fault of being pregnant, of course.
Last night Andrew and I went out for dinner and after we got home I was reminded of how much I need to start doing some more regular forms of exercise. Man, did my back ever hurt! Andrew is the one who nearly killed his entire self on some stairs while we were out, and I'm the one with the pain afterward. Unfair, I say. I had a bit of a preview at the One Of A Kind Show of the backaches to come, and I guess I'll just have to get Andrew to give me some nice massages or something (especially since La gave me that incredibly awesome Lush massage bar at Christmas.) But yeah; I do think that going for some regular walks will help, even if it makes it hurt a bit more at first.
Time is really flying now. I'm five months along and kind of in disbelief about that. It STILL doesn't seem entirely real that we're going to have a baby, you know. Yes, I feel like there's a human being growing inside of me but that isn't any kind of prep for what it's going to be like to LIVE with a TOTALLY DEPENDENT BABY. All my selfish ways and decisions are going to be secondary to making sure our kid survives each day. As a 34 year old with ingrained habits I think it's going to definitely be a rude kind of awakening! There are a few camps of parent out there. The kind that we have the most contact with, fortunately, are the kind who want to share useful advice and empathy, but there's another kind. The kind that like to maliciously shake their heads and say smugly, "Oh, you have no idea what you're in for. You'll see."
Yeah ... thanks. Does it surprise anyone that the first kid is a challenge? How can it not be? There was a time when I did not want to have children. I knew I could change my mind in the future when I hit my thirties, or encounter a surprise pregnancy and have to deal with that, but I really resented the idea that people saw being childfree as a negative of my personality. When I saw the kind of behaviour, though, where the parents seemed to relish the idea of someone sharing in what seemed to be their misery I felt a bit better about my decision. There are all kinds, of course, and even in the spectrum of the childfree there are wildly varying approaches and feelings about kids in general but I hope I never turn into the kind of parent who treats the role as a negative experience overall. Yes, there will be challenges and times when I question my sanity and the decision to have a child but I fully expect that overall I will like parenting and LOVE our spawn.
Seriously. My cats piss me off regularly (every day!) and I love and forgive them, so how much more am I going to love and care about a human being that's made up of me and Andrew?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Baby Jeanes has moved from Riverdance to STOMP.
Andrew FINALLY got to feel some substantial kicks from baby Jeanes. We were sitting side by side in bed doodling around on our respective laptops when I suddenly felt a series of no-kidding-around kicks that were quite different from the usual more subtle sensations. I grabbed Andrew's hand and put it where I thought they were strongest and he felt at least three good ones.
I've felt kind of guilty about being the one to feel all the baby sensations, silly as that is, so it was really nice. Yes, I'm doing all the heavy lifting of the carrying and growing of our kid but I'd still like to share the positives of the experience with Andrew and the kicking is definitely the fun part. At this point.
It's comforting that Andrew thinks I'm noticeably showing because I've had more than a few people say that I'm not showing at all and that pretty much just makes me feel like I must be a TOTAL fat-ass or something. (Don't worry if you've said it to me; I overreact to pretty much everything lately, OK?) Andrew is the one who sees me without my clothes so he's the one who can tell the best, I realize, plus I'm still wearing regular jeans that stretch so they probably inhibit the belly, but I just kind of want to look verifiable-y PREGNANT already. If I'd started out wafer-thin there'd be no question at this point, I realize, but at least I've gotten to wear my regular clothes for a good long time, right? I'm down to just a few shirts at this point, and Maysie was sweet enough to send me home with some of her maternity clothes to try out the other night so those plus some shopping on my part should have me set.
On a related note I have to find a pretty maternity dress to wear because our beloved friends Colin and Jen are getting married next month! Hooray! I'm so excited to go and take part, and I hope that the deities of maternity wear will smile upon me and have a dress in existence that will satisfy my needs. I'm not one hundred percent sure what those needs are at the moment other than it being a-line and able to contain my ridiculous pregnancy boobs. Oh, I have not complained here about my boobs and I'm afraid to start because they might sense it and go even more insane. I am afraid of these breasts.
Hmmm. What else? I guess not much else pregnancy related. We went to St. Catharines and Niagara On The Lake over the weekend to visit Jerome and then go to dinner with Andrew's Nana and Grandpa Bill. Seeing Jerome was super awesome fantastic, as always, and we totally fell in love with his house. It's seriously the kind of house we'd love to raise our kid in, just the right size for our needs and freaking gorgeous besides. It has CHARM, people. CHARM. I hope you love your house as much as we do, Jerome!
After that we went to NOTL to see Nana and Grandpa Bill. We met them for dinner at a restaurant/hotel/spa that is quite nice and even though I shouldn't have I ordered the prime rib for dinner. I had to because it came with Yorkshire pudding and ... come on. Yorkshire pudding! I ordered it rare and the chef was obviously incredibly good at his job and sent me a perfectly rare piece of meat. The problem was that it was also an enormous piece of meat and I could barely eat half of it. So I had to take it home and reheat it, at which point it was no longer perfectly rare. Sob. Oh, but my life is filled with tragedy.
Then we came home. The next night (Sunday night) we went to Maysie and Dan's and had delicious homemade pizza and a night full of excruciatingly depressing episodes of Battlestar Galactica. Depressing or no it is the best show on TV, so it's totally worth it. Uh, to me. I had pre-watched the episodes on my own at home so didn't break down bawling every few minutes when we were with the friends, but I assure you that I cried my face off in private. Pregnancy hormones FTW!
I've felt kind of guilty about being the one to feel all the baby sensations, silly as that is, so it was really nice. Yes, I'm doing all the heavy lifting of the carrying and growing of our kid but I'd still like to share the positives of the experience with Andrew and the kicking is definitely the fun part. At this point.
It's comforting that Andrew thinks I'm noticeably showing because I've had more than a few people say that I'm not showing at all and that pretty much just makes me feel like I must be a TOTAL fat-ass or something. (Don't worry if you've said it to me; I overreact to pretty much everything lately, OK?) Andrew is the one who sees me without my clothes so he's the one who can tell the best, I realize, plus I'm still wearing regular jeans that stretch so they probably inhibit the belly, but I just kind of want to look verifiable-y PREGNANT already. If I'd started out wafer-thin there'd be no question at this point, I realize, but at least I've gotten to wear my regular clothes for a good long time, right? I'm down to just a few shirts at this point, and Maysie was sweet enough to send me home with some of her maternity clothes to try out the other night so those plus some shopping on my part should have me set.
On a related note I have to find a pretty maternity dress to wear because our beloved friends Colin and Jen are getting married next month! Hooray! I'm so excited to go and take part, and I hope that the deities of maternity wear will smile upon me and have a dress in existence that will satisfy my needs. I'm not one hundred percent sure what those needs are at the moment other than it being a-line and able to contain my ridiculous pregnancy boobs. Oh, I have not complained here about my boobs and I'm afraid to start because they might sense it and go even more insane. I am afraid of these breasts.
Hmmm. What else? I guess not much else pregnancy related. We went to St. Catharines and Niagara On The Lake over the weekend to visit Jerome and then go to dinner with Andrew's Nana and Grandpa Bill. Seeing Jerome was super awesome fantastic, as always, and we totally fell in love with his house. It's seriously the kind of house we'd love to raise our kid in, just the right size for our needs and freaking gorgeous besides. It has CHARM, people. CHARM. I hope you love your house as much as we do, Jerome!
After that we went to NOTL to see Nana and Grandpa Bill. We met them for dinner at a restaurant/hotel/spa that is quite nice and even though I shouldn't have I ordered the prime rib for dinner. I had to because it came with Yorkshire pudding and ... come on. Yorkshire pudding! I ordered it rare and the chef was obviously incredibly good at his job and sent me a perfectly rare piece of meat. The problem was that it was also an enormous piece of meat and I could barely eat half of it. So I had to take it home and reheat it, at which point it was no longer perfectly rare. Sob. Oh, but my life is filled with tragedy.
Then we came home. The next night (Sunday night) we went to Maysie and Dan's and had delicious homemade pizza and a night full of excruciatingly depressing episodes of Battlestar Galactica. Depressing or no it is the best show on TV, so it's totally worth it. Uh, to me. I had pre-watched the episodes on my own at home so didn't break down bawling every few minutes when we were with the friends, but I assure you that I cried my face off in private. Pregnancy hormones FTW!
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