Pregnancy has made me think more about food than I ever have before.

I have to get the food thing under control. For the last few months I've been eating whatever the hell I can whenever the hell I can because the sickness has been so constant and occupied my whole being, mental and physical. Seriously, when something seemed good I ate it, and when I was feeling even the slightest bit better than usual I tried to make sure I ate whatever would go down.

Like, when Mang came to live with us way back in the day and she'd been a stray for a while. She ate anything edible at all that fell on the kitchen floor, even things cats don't normally eat, because she was still in the 'you never know when you'll eat again' mentality. She got over it eventually when she learned to trust that she had an always-available dish of dry food out 24/7, which made me happy. Now I have to start getting over the 'eat anything, who cares what, it's sustenance' mentality.

So, I am feeling the anxiety of a) trying not to eat unhealthy crap all the time so that I am getting enough in the way of nutrients, and b) trying not to eat unhealthy crap all the time so I don't balloon to thrice my original size and give my obstetrician a heart attack every time he sees me. Or give myself one, either.

The sickness might (might) be starting to wane slightly, but I refuse to believe that until I have a full un-medicated day of non-stomach-roiling sensations. Even so, I don't want to be sitting around eating just pickles and pizza and jars of mandarin orange slices in light syrup. Half the time I'm dying for something specific, the other half I'm vaguely hungry but don't know what the heck I want and anything I think of makes my guts go, "Eh."

Like yesterday; I kept trying to think of something to eat. I ate some pickles but after a few my stomach suddenly told me to cut it out, so I did. A while later I ate some of the mandarins but they didn't sit too well, either. Finally out of desperation I decided to boil some rice noodles then fry them a tiny bit with some sesame oil and teriyaki sauce. Surprisingly, my body said, "Yes, that's right." And lo, my fickle hunger was appeased.

Then an hour later I needed to eat pickles so badly that I had to cut myself off after a certain amount so that I don't OD on sodium. And I'm still jonesing for those caramel apples! Possible weekend project?