Hey, baby-mama, do you come here often?

So yesterday I had to get up and go to the obgyn for a blood glucose test. I'd been given instructions the week before and so didn't eat or drink anything sugary beforehand. Now, the office that I go to is in the obstetrics department at Mt. Sinai so there's a central area for outpatient stuff where I had to go to drink my glucose drink. You take a number from a machine and wait around for a long time until your number comes up.

I sat down beside a nice Chinese woman and we ended up chatting for a bit, discovering we were there for the same reason and that we share the same obgyn. We were about the same number of weeks along and compared notes and bellies and whatnot until a tech came out and asked who was there for glucose testing. About eight of us swarmed him so he waved us back and said he'd take three at a time, and that he'd call for us every fifteen minutes. We showed our tickets and the three lowest numbers got to go with him. My friend and I weren't in the lucky group, so we headed off to the obgyn to pee on our sticks since during the one-hour waiting period after the glucose drinks we were supposed to go see our doctor.

When I got back to the outpatient area I ended up sitting beside a woman who looked much further along than me. She was also there for glucose testing and since it was very boring just sitting there we started yakking. It turned out that she's only twenty weeks along as opposed to my 27, but is having triplets! Wow. I was VERY interested in talking to her about what it's like and she was more than happy to share it. The triplets were a total surprise and since she has to have ultrasounds all the time to check on them they know the sexes and everything. Also they seem to be very healthy little babies and are pretty big, so a cesarean is pretty much guaranteed. She was all, "Yeah, I'm not pushing out one of them and then finding out I have to have a c-section for the other two anyhow." I'd feel the same way!

I finally got to drink my glucose drink (which is exactly like super-sweet orange carb drink) and the tech was impressed that I was able to chug it down fast. They give it to you in two cups and I just knocked them back quick since they weren't exactly delicious and the woman before me was having a hard time with hers, taking little sips and grimacing. The woman before her was all, "Mmmmm, this is delicious."

The doctor's waiting area was insanely busy so it was hard to get a seat, but when I finally did I ended up sitting beside a grandma who was there with her daughter and two grandkids. The one had been born just a month before and was a hilariously cross-eyed, foggy, squinchy newborn who made the ugliest faces at the waiting room over her mother's arm. I am always highly amused by that stage of babyhood, when being in the world is still the most alien thing to them since they're so used to the womb and haven't acclimatized at all to being out. This is not to say I think they're hideous; they're just so NEW.

Anyhow, the grandma was very proud of her grandkids and couldn't stop talking about them and ended up in a bit of a one-up war with a grandma sitting two seats down from me on the other side. Her daughter was there, wearing a 'pregnant is the new sexy' t-shirt over her big old baby belly and standing there while her mom took a load off. The daughter had apparently been colicky and so there was lots of talk about how this baby might restore the balance in the world by also being colicky. I was sympathetic to her, having also been colicky but having no recollection of doing it out of spite or innate meanness.

I finally got to see my doctor and he was as efficient as the time before, measuring my belly, listening to the heartbeat and advising me to switch from Tums to Maalox or Zantac since the heartburn is getting so bad. Then I dashed back to the outpatient lab with minutes to spare before getting my blood drawn.

This was the best part. The tech was the same guy who'd drawn my blood wayyyy back in the day when I had my first bloodwork done at the hospital. Back then I'd been nervous since I always am about needles and he had chatted me up really charmingly and casually, starting off by admiring my Claddagh ring and saying that I must be Irish and that Irish girls are his weakness. He inquired about my names and their meanings and I told him all about my mom and grandmothers and family history across the pond.

Well, this time I went in and sat down and pointedly looked away from the prep as he got out the tubes and needle. He started to chat me up and suddenly said, "You must be Irish. I can tell because you're wearing a Claddagh ring. Irish girls are my weakness."

I tried not to laugh and just went along with the conversation, but it took everything in me. The first time it was totally charming and put me at my ease: This time it was HIGH-LARIOUS and also put me at my ease because I wanted to laugh so hard. Dude obviously has a method for dealing with the needle-shy and it's very effective!