Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Writing from my deathbed.

Oh, man. I have been sick all week long. I'd felt something lurking for most of the week before and it hit on the weekend. It seems to be at most a seriously bad cold but it's getting old at this point. Bah.

It's why I haven't been writing much this week. A) It's boring to read about other people's snotty colds and B) I just haven't had much energy for it. So I've kept my writing to boo-hooing in Facebook and Twitter status updates about how sick and gross I am.

I have run into the Maalox condundrum, however, of timing my pregnancy-related heartburn relief with cold relief and other medication. Maalox (and other antacids) interfere with the effectiveness of medications if taken close together so I have to decide if I want relief from heartburn over relief from head-pounding stuffiness and sinus pain. It's a testament to how bad the heartburn is that I'll often choose the Maalox over the Tylenol because having to wait a few hours seems impossible. Admittedly I am trying to take as little as possible of the Tylenol Cold, even though it's supposed to be all safe and stuff.

Taking pills is no big deal for me. Some people gag on pills but I can knock back a handful at a time as long as I have a glass of water to wash them down. (Not that I've ever knocked back a handful, of course, but my re-reading of that last sentence tips me off that it sounds a bit alarming.) Ahem. Yes, I can take multiple pills at a time and not blink. Chewables, however, are another story and the Maalox are just plain old gross. They're mint which makes it better, but they don't really go anywhere while you're chewing them. They just get foamy and sit there in the same spot where you're chewing them, like they have a memory of the shape they were in and want to stay that way. It squicks me out like nobody's business and you can bet that I'm so relieved you're supposed to wash them down with water because swallowing that mess dry would be nearly impossible. Because it's not really dry; it's a pasty almost-gel that clings to every surface ack ick ugh!

O, this is the grossest entry. The baby is still kicking in there despite its momma lolling about like a serious invalid and hacking up a lung or two. I've been forcing food down as much as I can so that baby Jeanes is getting, like, vitamins and stuff and taking my pre-natals and making sure to keep aware of movement and all that. S/he's pretty consistent with when and what makes her/him kicky. Six a.m. aerobics are still a go, me on my left side always results in some irritated shoving around unless I am laying there just so, and random spazzes throughout the afternoon and evening are common. I think my coughing over the last day or so has been a bit alarming for the poor thing, but there's not a lot I can do about that, unfortunately.

Yeah, OK. I think I've exhausted my non-news for now. Things are good despite my having the plague. Andrew is going away for a little travel trip of about 24 hours so maybe by the time he gets back on Friday night I'll be somewhat less gross. Here's hoping!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Random Acts Of Gratitude

I keep meaning to post about this and forgetting, so here I am posting about it FINALLY!

My lovely friend Jerome is doing another year-long project, this year entitled Random Acts Of Gratitude. It's an awesome daily posting of things he is grateful for and it's so lovely to read it and get a smile out of it every day. When I used to keep my KayBeeBlog weblog daily I always said that one of the nicest things about it was that it helped me to find a positive about the day I'd had, no matter what, and I think that Jerome's current project has a similar effect. For Jerome I hope it does, of course, but it's so nice to read it as a friend and then want to hug him when I'm done.

Jerome, you are the greatest! I am grateful for YOU!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

It's all about the socks.

Hello again. I seem to have a lot to say lately. I do like writing and used to blog so regularly that I guess I've reminded myself how much I get out of it! Also lately I've had a small run of funny little events when generally my life is so boring and predictable that it's less easy to find things to share.

Anyhow, I never did tell the wee story about shopping at The Bay with Andrew. It's not insanely hilarious, but it was definitely a highlight of a shopping trip that was not so successful for me otherwise. See, Andrew was looking for a shirt to wear to the wedding to match the ties that Colin had bought for the groomsmen. So, he took a small variety of shirts to try on in the change room while I parked myself on one of two seats outside the change rooms and waited. A couple of other women ended up sitting beside me while their partners tried things on but they were there and gone pretty quickly. Then another woman sat down and her husband headed into the change rooms with a couple of bathing suits (the kind that are like long baggy shorts.)

We didn't talk to each other or anything, just both sat and waited. Then her husband came out of his change room and peeked out of the changing area, wanting his wife's opinion. He was still wearing his button-up shirt and his socks, as well as the bathing suit in question. His wife began to quietly giggle when she saw him in his bathing suit and socks and he kind of sheepishly got her opinion while she continued to giggle at him, then took off back to his change room to try on another suit.

I had been trying not to giggle while he was there, and when he was gone I leaned over to her and said, "The socks really make the outfit," which caused her to immediately bust out laughing.

So we both lost our shit entirely and laughed and laughed and laughed and wiped away tears of laughter. I saw his change room door open again and tried to compose myself. He skulked down the wall of the hallway and when he got to the end where we were stuck out one of his be-socked legs and did a little pointy-toed sexy thing with it, then peeked out at us again. So she and I laughed some more and then she pulled herself together to give him her opinion on his second bathing suit and he went away again, all smiles. I told her that I hoped I hadn't hurt his feelings with the sock laughter and she assured me that no, if he could get a laugh he'd always go for the laugh. Hee hee.

When he came back out I assured him that his socks were very nice and looked great with the bathing suit and he and his wife laughed with me some more and then went on their merry way. I tried to share with Andrew how very hilarious and happy-making it had all been for me, and it really, really had been. I love running across happy, funny people like that.

Hey, baby-mama, do you come here often?

So yesterday I had to get up and go to the obgyn for a blood glucose test. I'd been given instructions the week before and so didn't eat or drink anything sugary beforehand. Now, the office that I go to is in the obstetrics department at Mt. Sinai so there's a central area for outpatient stuff where I had to go to drink my glucose drink. You take a number from a machine and wait around for a long time until your number comes up.

I sat down beside a nice Chinese woman and we ended up chatting for a bit, discovering we were there for the same reason and that we share the same obgyn. We were about the same number of weeks along and compared notes and bellies and whatnot until a tech came out and asked who was there for glucose testing. About eight of us swarmed him so he waved us back and said he'd take three at a time, and that he'd call for us every fifteen minutes. We showed our tickets and the three lowest numbers got to go with him. My friend and I weren't in the lucky group, so we headed off to the obgyn to pee on our sticks since during the one-hour waiting period after the glucose drinks we were supposed to go see our doctor.

When I got back to the outpatient area I ended up sitting beside a woman who looked much further along than me. She was also there for glucose testing and since it was very boring just sitting there we started yakking. It turned out that she's only twenty weeks along as opposed to my 27, but is having triplets! Wow. I was VERY interested in talking to her about what it's like and she was more than happy to share it. The triplets were a total surprise and since she has to have ultrasounds all the time to check on them they know the sexes and everything. Also they seem to be very healthy little babies and are pretty big, so a cesarean is pretty much guaranteed. She was all, "Yeah, I'm not pushing out one of them and then finding out I have to have a c-section for the other two anyhow." I'd feel the same way!

I finally got to drink my glucose drink (which is exactly like super-sweet orange carb drink) and the tech was impressed that I was able to chug it down fast. They give it to you in two cups and I just knocked them back quick since they weren't exactly delicious and the woman before me was having a hard time with hers, taking little sips and grimacing. The woman before her was all, "Mmmmm, this is delicious."

The doctor's waiting area was insanely busy so it was hard to get a seat, but when I finally did I ended up sitting beside a grandma who was there with her daughter and two grandkids. The one had been born just a month before and was a hilariously cross-eyed, foggy, squinchy newborn who made the ugliest faces at the waiting room over her mother's arm. I am always highly amused by that stage of babyhood, when being in the world is still the most alien thing to them since they're so used to the womb and haven't acclimatized at all to being out. This is not to say I think they're hideous; they're just so NEW.

Anyhow, the grandma was very proud of her grandkids and couldn't stop talking about them and ended up in a bit of a one-up war with a grandma sitting two seats down from me on the other side. Her daughter was there, wearing a 'pregnant is the new sexy' t-shirt over her big old baby belly and standing there while her mom took a load off. The daughter had apparently been colicky and so there was lots of talk about how this baby might restore the balance in the world by also being colicky. I was sympathetic to her, having also been colicky but having no recollection of doing it out of spite or innate meanness.

I finally got to see my doctor and he was as efficient as the time before, measuring my belly, listening to the heartbeat and advising me to switch from Tums to Maalox or Zantac since the heartburn is getting so bad. Then I dashed back to the outpatient lab with minutes to spare before getting my blood drawn.

This was the best part. The tech was the same guy who'd drawn my blood wayyyy back in the day when I had my first bloodwork done at the hospital. Back then I'd been nervous since I always am about needles and he had chatted me up really charmingly and casually, starting off by admiring my Claddagh ring and saying that I must be Irish and that Irish girls are his weakness. He inquired about my names and their meanings and I told him all about my mom and grandmothers and family history across the pond.

Well, this time I went in and sat down and pointedly looked away from the prep as he got out the tubes and needle. He started to chat me up and suddenly said, "You must be Irish. I can tell because you're wearing a Claddagh ring. Irish girls are my weakness."

I tried not to laugh and just went along with the conversation, but it took everything in me. The first time it was totally charming and put me at my ease: This time it was HIGH-LARIOUS and also put me at my ease because I wanted to laugh so hard. Dude obviously has a method for dealing with the needle-shy and it's very effective!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The wedding, friends, family and love.

Oh, man. Jen and Colin's wedding was just perfection. I'm sure if you asked them they could tell you which things went wrong, but from the perspective of someone who wasn't in charge of arranging the details and worrying about what happened when it went off smoothly, enjoyably and memorably! Hooray for Colin and Jen!

For reals, though, I was exhausted just being a bystander who helped with very small stuff that didn't require any heavy lifting (like bagging candy and putting tablecloths on tables.) I can't imagine how tired I'd have been if I was in charge!

We came back home to Toronto yesterday, bringing Jen. F and Paula back with us since we had room in the van. Now, the wedding had a daisy theme and Jen and Colin had tons of potted daisies left over that they weren't planning to keep so I asked if I could take a pot to my mom. They said that was fine, so we made a quick stop at my mom's house in Kingston on the way back to Toronto from Ottawa.

When we got there they were all in the middle of dinner but we came inside so that we could all have a bathroom break and I could hug my sister and mom and niece and nephew. I handed off the daisies and we hung out in the kitchen a bit while each of us had our time in the washroom. Mang, of course, came into the kitchen and presented herself to everyone and looked regal and lovely and I got some kitty loving in with her and Leeloo. Keller stayed hidden in one of her hiding spots and didn't come out to visit at all, unsurprisingly.

The best part, though, came while I was absent, having excused myself to the washroom. July, who is eight, apparently thought that Jen and Paula were VERY pretty and proposed the idea of having a Pretty Lady Party in Toronto sometime that they could come to as well as some of their pretty friends. Hee hee hee! That kid cracks me up! Jen and Paula are very pretty so she was totally justified in wanting to celebrate that, of course. I hope I'm invited, too.

After a too-brief interlude with my adorable family we headed back out on the road, stopping to get a bite to eat and then driving without stopping until we hit our city. Getting back to our apartment and hugging my cats was the best thing ever until I climbed into my bed and realized that being in my bed and hugging my cats was EVEN BETTER. Then Andrew got into bed and I realized that being in bed with my cats and my Andrew was EVEN BETTER THAN THAT. And then I fell asleep.

Monday, February 16, 2009

I do wish I had a pillbox like that.

So I had my first official real nightmare about this baby. I crashed hard in bed last night after the wedding festivities and had a few weird dreams, but this one freaked me out.

Yes, I know other people's dreams are boring.

So, in my dream I totally had the baby and was all, "Baby-having is sooooo easy and painless. I don't really think that hurt at all!" And the baby was so tiny that she fit in a pillbox so that's where I carried her. No wonder it didn't hurt.

I set the pillbox carrier down at some point and TOTALLY misplaced it. It was a pink pillbox, very cute, and easy to spot. When I realized I had no idea where I'd set it down (with my daughter inside) I started to freak out. I knew Andrew would be really pissed off, plus I was extremely embarrassed that I'd misplaced my own child like that.

I searched and searched and searched, but it got pretty obvious that I just wasn't going to find her again. My baby was gone for good.

Waking up was a relief because I know exactly where the baby is for now and s/he'd better stay there for a few more months.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Ottawa update.

Hellooooo! We've been in Ottawa since Thursday night. I STILL haven't seen Alannah and the kids and that makes me sad, but we've settled on tomorrow night being the night, after all the wedding festivities have ended.

We HAVE seen Colin and Jen and all the other wedding participants. Friday night was the wedding rehearsal and dinner, and for the rehearsal I stood in for one of the bridesmaids who couldn't be there. I was Fake Kim, and it was fun. I was a bit worried that it would mess with my back to stand around a lot, but it ended up doing a number on my sciatica leg instead, which is not something I can blame on baby Jeanes at all. It's very handy to be able to blame ailments on pregnancy, you know.

Baby Jeanes was super active all the way from Toronto to Ottawa. I don't know if it was my posture or bumps in the road or what, but that baby was busy. It was funny, since I actually think s/he's pretty mellow compared to stories I've heard of other babies who were constantly active while hanging out inside their moms. But yeah; riding in a vehicle seems to provoke lots of movement. If I ever get worried that s/he's not moving I'll try to get a ride somewhere and see what happens.

I did attempt to find maternity clothes today but was not so successful. Andrew and I went to the Bayshore mall because they were having a sale on shirts at The Bay and he needed to buy a shirt to go with his tie for the wedding. I figured I'd check their maternity section first and go from there if I couldn't find anything, but it turned out that they don't have a maternity section at all at that location. So I checked out Thyme Maternity in the mall but all their stuff was very casual. Mom had told me of some maternity stores in town but by the time we got out of the mall it was too late to do any more shopping.

I guess I'll make do with the outfit I bought last week which is really not bad at all. Still, my impression of maternity clothes so far has been that they are not very much to my tastes. They DO make one look pregnant, though, which I proved by wearing a maternity shirt for the first time the other day and being told multiple times that I suddenly look quite pregnant. The a-line cut really accentuates that baby belly, I guess!

Not much else to tell. I do have a funny story about our shopping experience at The Bay, but I'll make a separate post about it since I don't have the energy to write much more tonight. I's tired and need my beauty sleep since we have to be somewhere at 7:30 tomorrow morning!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

People do make me laugh.

So yesterday I went first to an OBGYN appointment, then went shopping to see if I could find a pretty maternity dress to wear to Jen and Colin's wedding this coming weekend.

The appointment was brief. My lovely doctor came flying into the room, ordered me to lie down, whipped out a tape measure, measured my belly, whipped out a heartbeat thingamajig, listened to the heartbeat, asked if I had any questions then told me to go to the outpatient lab and pee in a cup since my pee stick had some protein in it. The entire thing, including me waiting in the waiting room, took about 15 minutes total, a new record for obstetrical efficiency in my experience! Everyone at the office seemed a bit frazzled, actually. Busy day in babymaking, I guess. Except for the old man who was seated next to me in the waiting room and was eventually tipped off that he wasn't where he was supposed to be. He looked around and said, "Yes, there are an awful lot of pregnant women here."

Shopping for the maternity dress was as difficult as I'd expected, but only because there weren't any dresses. Like, none. I went to the Dufferin Mall because there's a Pennington's there and I was hoping to find an a-line dress that wouldn't necessarily have to be a maternity dress. There were no dresses at all. I'm not even kidding. Skirts and blouses, yes, but no dresses. I then went to Rietmans which most always has an awesome and plentiful plus-size section with great selection, but this time they also had no dresses. The clerk immediately got my drift as soon as I turned to face her and mentioned a-line dresses and had some suggestions about perhaps such-and-such a store would have something, but seemed dubious. She said this is a hard time of year to buy a dress anyhow, it being that wasteland between new seasonal lines when everything has been picked over.

I ended up getting a dressy pair of maternity pants and a fancy shirt which looked good to me when I tried them on in the store. Here's hoping I wasn't just desperately telling myself so in order to end the shopping process. I'll try them on again here at home and see. I still have a few days of grace and can shop in Ottawa, too!

My day was spiced right up by the craziness of my fellow shoppers and travelers, though. The first incident was in Pennington's. I entered the store at the same time as a woman using a walker and a much younger woman accompanying her. The elderly woman looked old enough to be the younger woman's grandma but referred to her as her daughter throughout. The daughter was shopping for a jacket and the two attracted the attention of one of the clerks as they discussed. The older woman had a VERY loud voice, and to my horror shouted to the clerk as she approached them, "We're looking for a jacket for a really FAT person, here. Really, really FAT."

I was mortified and wanted to hide behind a rack of clothes. Astonishingly (to me) the daughter didn't seem fazed by this at all, just calmly talked about the coats they were looking at with the clerk like this was absolutely normal behaviour. Yes, the daughter was obese, but HELLO OLD LADY, you are in Pennington's. Your daughter knows where she is, the clerks know where they work, your specificity is overkill in this situation.

I was left to wonder if the daughter just has to deal with this so much that not acknowledging it is her best defense. Whatever their personal relationship, I left and went off to shop elsewhere for my non-existent dress happy in the knowledge that my own mom is not a crazy, loud-talking, insensitive crone.

The second incident was much more palatable to me. I was on the Bathurst bus and an older couple sat down behind me. They looked to be in their sixties or so and quite cheerful and pleasant. The husband suddenly broke out into song. That didn't seem so weird to me because I live with Andrew, a man who has a song to fit every occasion and who will always sing that song.

I immediately realized, however, that I was in some kind of time warp and it was actually me and Andrew from the distant future sitting behind me because as the man sang his song his wife began to say, "Shhh. Stop singing. Stop it. Hush. Shush. Stop. Be quiet. Stop singing. Shhhhh."

He carried on singing for a bit, she very quietly carried on shushing him and eventually he stopped and they started talking about something else very happily and lovingly. So, I'm assuming that even when we're in our sixties, Andrew will still be breaking out into song and I'll still be shushing him. Some things will probably not change.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Kick the kitty!

In a development of extreme suckage I think the morning sickness is flirting with me a little bit, still. I wasn't too sure about it since the heartburn has been making me feel gaggy, but in the last day the heartburn has calmed down somewhat and I've noticed that the nausea is still there. Hrm. Go away, nausea. You have no place here in my beloved second trimester!

I still have some Diclectin left and this is nowhere near the feeling I had in the first trimester so I'm not panicking. Just giving it a very stern look.

Yeah, the heartburn got pretty epic over the last five or so days and I was sad about that. Andrew reminded me that raw or blanched almonds are supposed to be helpful for that so he came home from the store with two big packages of them for me. I think they might actually be helping! Since I started eating them I've definitely taken fewer Tums and had a bit more success with sleeping. The heartburn kept waking me up after at most three hours of sleep and I'd have to do something to try to deal with it instead of being able to drop back off so my sleep was all jacked up. So there's been a bit of an improvement there, at least!

Shelley is really starting to notice the baby kicks now when he's purring on me on the sofa. He'll look up at me a little quizzically when there's a particularly strong thump. I'm waiting for the day that they actually notice my belly moving with their eyes rather than just feeling it. I'm waiting in fear, as they both like to attack targets that are moving mysteriously underneath something. So I could be a mass of flesh wounds by the time I actually go to give birth!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

It puts the baby on its skin.

I was doing some reading about 'wearing' babies last night, using slings and various styles of sling-type carriers. I'm extremely invested in finding a good sling that I can stick the kid in so I can have my hands free when necessary to do random things, so I really want to do my research.

The danger of online research, you realize, is that you end up getting sidetracked by other interesting things as you read. As a result I started reading about how skin-to-skin contact is something that is extremely comforting and healthy for babies, especially when they're brand-new. I've known this for a while, but it was something I wanted to mention to Andrew, seeing as how he's the kind of of person who can't abide wearing pants for longer than five minutes after he gets home from anywhere and will disrobe at the slightest provocation. I figured he'd be thrilled at the opportunity to foster nudist tendencies in our child.

I also pointed out that baby skin is one of the most magical things on earth, it being so unreasonably soft and perfect and fresh, so skin-to-skin snuggling with a baby is like cuddling unicorns or something equally fantastical. Andrew's response?

"Oh, man. I'm going to rub that baby all over my body!"

How DO you respond to something like that? I coped through laughter, but a less understanding person would be all surreptitiously programming CAS into their cellphone.

Don't worry, there will be no using our baby as a reverse loofah, I swear. Besides, I think baby Jeanes would get a lot less out of Andrew's leg hair than Andrew would out of our baby's perfect flesh.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I barfed a lot and it sucked. Let me have that, OK?

OK, so a real positive about this pregnancy has been fewer migraines! I've always been prone to them but for some reason instead of even worse migraines I've just been getting more of the smaller, more bearable headaches instead. I mention this because I had an actual migraine today and was reminded of how long it's been since I had to deal with one. Pretty sweet!

Uh ... perhaps I was a bit more of a baby about it as a result, but Andrew has skipped town until tomorrow night so didn't have to hang out with me for more than a couple of hours worth of pathetic behaviour.

Now, I expected that with this pregnancy I'd be throwing myself headlong into some online communities of pregnant women and getting right involved with all that, but I've quickly discovered that I don't really have the urge to. I have a hit-or-miss relationship with online communities in general, preferring mostly to keep them strictly online and not have them encroach too much into my oxygen life. There are a small number of people I've met online that I'd made an exception for, but they are few. So, after lurking slightly and posting just a couple of times in a couple of pregnancy/parenting forums and whatnot I can say that I now have no real desire to do this.

Part of it is that on the one hand I'm just kind of a bitch, I think, and get easily frustrated when certain things start to look more like contests than sharing experiences. I'm not going in trying to one-up anyone or be told to just be thankful I had it as easy as I did. Y'know, the morning sickness sucked my will to live and it makes me seriously reluctant to do this ever again. Don't tell me I was lucky, k? I was not lucky. No one who experiences extreme unpleasantness during their pregnancy is.

On the other hand I feel like I have such a strong existing support network through my family and tons of friends who have babies and have experienced everything I'm going through that I don't really need to seek strangers online to get advice from. It's one of the reasons that not getting into a midwife group didn't break my heart too much, because I have the experienced feminine moral support thing built right in. Mom, sisters, cousins, aunts, friends, all kinds of people a phone call or Facebook message away! I'm pretty blessed and I'm reminded of it constantly.

I'm also pretty blessed to have Andrew right there with me being as supportive and involved and interested as he is. Love you, sweetie!